Highlights of Round 1 2014

Round 1 Living Heritage National Horseboarding Championship

The Horseboarding UK Championships began with a muddy start with weather conditions causing drama for all the teams. As they came together for the first time this season, there was an air of excitement throughout the camp. All were anxious to hit the course but when the forecast of rain fell, it made the soft, sticky clay ground instantly water logged, making the track difficult for every team.

The Novice Class

Despite the weather, our Novice Class teams dived in with all four hooves in the morning of Heat One and tried their hardest to record times. Blur of the Moment had some great runs and dominated from the start. Daniel Hallam (boarder) seemed extremely comfortable behind his new horse who clearly had a ton of speed, which I am sure we will see in its full glory at the first dry event. Dan did have one fall, however, and fully tested the new bendy poles that mark the gates of the course, when he rolled over it with no damage to the pole or himself.

Blur of the Moment were in the lead with a time of 53.05s and it was clear that boarder Daniel Hallam’s riding had come on tenfold since last season (when he rode with Three's a Crowd) and the team have said that they are keen to compete in the Elite Class soon. First-time competitors, Predators, also progressed quickly and worked particularly hard to put down a time.

Only Ambush and UK Boarder Force had yet to set down a time at the end of the morning of Heat One. But they certainly made up for it in the afternoon session. UK Boarder Force showed a lot of potential and their boarder looked pretty confident on the slippery mud and they managed to put down a fastest time of 63.82s. Ambush also did particularly well, coming in second place with an average time of 69.82s. Their rider, Aiden, a MBS boarder, had this to say about the sport: “[It’s hard to describe] how difficult it actually is, even as an experienced boarder, to keep control when being tugged around the arena.” Despite their gallant effort, Blur of the Moment was still in the lead with a best time of 49.51s.

As for Heat Two, the weather had become considerably worse making the course almost impossible, even for the Elite teams. Our Novice teams gave it a mighty effort but a lot teams fell on the opening straight or the very first bend and eventually the arena took them all. Only Ambush and Blur of the Moment managed to record a single time. This meant that Blur of the Moment finished in 1^st position with a time of 65.01s and Ambush was 2^nd with 68.36s.

Not to be forgotten though, Designated Drinkers decided to race as a non-competitive team in the Novice class with stand-in boarder Richard and rider Laura. They managed an average time of 53.02s for Course A and 69.14s for Course B. After pulling out of Heat Two after the first run, they managed an average time of 61.08s which, if they had entered competitively, would have given them second place.

We would like to thank each of our Novice teams who continued to try their luck with a near-impossible course. You all demonstrated wonderful determination and love of the, somewhat muddy, sport of horseboarding. Congratulations to you all for completing the first round, but you should know, the best is yet to come!

The Elite Class

Despite the weather conditions and the new Elite course to contend with, Dead Pigeon set the bar high with a time of 75.94s which no other Elite team could match. Mad ’Atters were in second place, with a time that was only 2.05s behind Dead Pigeon. Norfolk ‘n’ Good and Icandy both put down times in the morning of Heat One but Norfolk 'n' Good's was much slower than the rest. The horseboarding Battle for Beachy Head, it seemed, had begun and the top spot would be fought over by three teams - Dead Pigeon, Icandy and Mad 'Atters.

Even though Norfolk’n’Good had set a time, it was very conservative and lacked any speed. This was clearly a tactical move on their behalf because we all know how fast they can really go.

Despite the general consensus that setting a time that could be improved on later was the most important thing to do, two teams failed to even score at all during the morning of Heat One. Ihorse and Do or Die both had teething problems. Ihorse’s new horse, Dave, started a little nervous out of the arena but quickly settled. However, when it came to racing, he napped towards the exit gate over to where the other horses were in the pits. This made the challenging course even harder for the team and they ended up losing two runs completely and severely damaging the time on another.

Do or Die’s pre-season grudge against Dead Pigeon seemed to be all talk as they failed to complete a run at all in the first half of Heat One. Clearly their horse Amba wasn’t in the mood for her usual hearty breakfast of dead pigeon that morning. The team seemed to struggle with the new element but fortunately for them, they were not the only ones to find it particularly trying. 

As the afternoon session of Heat One began at Fonmon Castle, Do or Die managed to set a steady time on their second run with 81.25s which put them in to 3rd place overall for the first day. They were still trailing behind Dead Pigeon, Mad ’Atters and Icandy, but at least they were now in the fight, which is more than can be said for Ihorse who failed to set a time at all that day.

The night brought in another 4-6mm of rain and with the carriage driving and the MGA Games using the arena before the horseboarding, it was starting to look more like Glastonbury than South Wales Game and Country Fair. The arena was littered with ruts, horse tracks, skid marks and mud of various consistencies. The mud completely clogged up the tyres of the boards, eliminating what little grip they might have had left. This did not deter the teams, however, who pushed on regardless after every fall. They were our muddy heroes.

Course B had to be moved slightly so as to avoid the worst of the mud but despite this, and the best efforts made by all teams, they only managed 27% completion rate across the board. The range of times for the Elite Class varied from around 90 seconds to 125 seconds, some of the slowest we have seen for a while.

Icandy had some inconsistent starts, one of which saw Dan Fowler-Prime (boarder) crash very hard on the start line. Then, despite a clear improvement from Dan’s second team, Ihorse, they still failed to score a single time. The last to race in the morning of Heat Two was Do or Die. They previously set a very steady time of 102.19s on their first run but needed to beat Dead Pigeon’s time of 90.5s to be in with a chance of taking home the trophy.

With ground conditions worsening it was not looking hopeful for them. Nevertheless, in true Do or Die style, Melissa and Amba pushed on at a rocketing pace in the hope that their boarder would just cling on. None of the other teams could believe their eyes as boarder, Tom Kilroy, stopped looking for grip and instead skidded his board from the start to finish. The pits fell silent with only the odd whisper of “what the hell is he doing?” heard between the boarders. Nobody had attempted to run the course at such a speed and no one could figure out how on earth he was managing to stay on the board. Pot luck, or pure skill? We’ll let you decide.

After slipping and sliding around the course, and with some of their riding getting dangerously close to the edge, they managed to all hold on and crossed the finish line at 80.53 seconds. This time was a whopping 11 seconds in front of Dead Pigeon which put them 1^st overall for Round 1. The whole pits, audience and commentator alike, erupted in excitement as the team lived up to their name in a very real ‘Do or Die’ moment of glory.

Speaking with Thomas after, he humbly said “to be honest, I think I had 20% skill and 80% luck not to hit a rut.” Despite new tucks and wheels from Trampa, he said that he believed he had never been so unsteady on his board!

By the afternoon of the last Heat of the weekend, after the carriage drivers and the mounted games had been in again, the arena looked awful form a boarder’s point of view. All the marks had been completely scrubbed out and even the arena crew struggled to walk in the slippery, claggy mud, let alone board it. It was clear from the beginning that this Heat was not going to be about racing speed but about whether or not you could survive the course.

Daniel Fowler-Prime, Horseboarding UK founder, began the last half of Heat Two by taking to the mic and reciting a slightly altered part of Shakespeare’s Henry V -  “once more into the breach dear friends”. This was quickly followed by a partial rendition of the Charge of the Light Brigade, voiced by our commentator, Hew Alun Whitney.   

After this inspirational opener, on our teams charged for a chance at victory. Ihorse decided that they would rather face the M4 than the arena, leaving five teams still in the fight for the Elite Class. However they were no longer fighting each other but together they fought the arena itself. And, boy, did the arena fight back. A comment was made that it had become a horseboarder’s version of the Battle of the Somme.

Teams struggled to get out of the pits and if they did make it, their boards were normally sideways.  A lot teams fell on the opening straight or the first bend. Some managed to make it further round the course but eventually the arena took them as well. It started to become less like a race than a very elaborate way of getting muddy as team after team tried and failed to beat the arena.

Dead Pigeon had a second problem as they were still trying to race and beat Do or Die’s time set in the morning session of the Heat. This led to a massive crash on the start line, similar to Icandy’s on day one. However, this knocked the wind out of Ross Towner (boarder), who took a couple of minutes to recover. It came as a reminder to the teams that even though the mud was soft, you could still get hurt.

At this stage, it seemed clear that the competition was over, the only question was would anybody manage to get around the course? Then came Norfolk ‘n’ Good. Christie Webb, Allan Hare and horse Alfie, stepped forward with the steely determination of a soldier that would not be beaten. 

Through constant communication and near perfect teamwork, they slowly fought their way out of the pits and down the opening straight, which was littered with the imprints of their fallen comrades. Around the first bend, past the commentary box and then through the mine field of particularly soft mud that had claimed so many teams already. Down the back straight and into the first really tight bend, which Aiden of Ambush had said was impassable, then up the centre line to the weave which had - at some point or other - claimed the scalp of every Elite team over the course of the weekend. This did not faze them, however, and they pushed bravely on.

Back to the commentary corner they went, and into the mine field of really slippery mud.  By now all the activity in the pits had ceased as the teams started to think the unthinkable - they might make it!? Through the centre and 90 degree turn, this team struggled on. As they came past the pits a second time, the fellow competitors did not know what to do - cheer them on? Or just carry on holding their breath in fear that any movement or sound could ruin what was shaping up to be the best chance they had at beating this arena.

They passed through the double gates which had previously seen Daniel Hallam, Daniel Fowler-Prime and Allan, himself, fall. Then they were on to the diagonal which was probably the best bit of ground left in the field, but it held a tight bend at the end of it that opened up past the commentary box and through yet another mine field.

Slowly, steady, this team searched for the best ground. Christie Webb tried to avoid the worst of it and put her boarder in the best possible place, meanwhile Allan passed on the speed and direction instructions constantly. As they came on to the final straight, all those that had been holding their breath inhaled even deeper. For a few brief moments the rest of the showground faded out of existence and the only things left in the field were Norfolk’n’Good, 50 meters of mud and the ever-elusive finish line. Norfolk’s patience was waning and to the dismay of the onlookers, they accelerated towards the finish! 

In an historic heat, in historic conditions, after twenty seven planned races, spread across nine teams, one team stood out from the mud. In the afternoon of Heat Two, one team managed one race that succeeded where all others had failed. This team is Norfolk ‘n’ Good. As they crossed the finish line, everybody erupted in celebration. They truly are the heroes of Fonmon Castle and demonstrated the teamwork needed to succeed in this sport. Congratulations, boys (and girl) in blue – we salute you!

Despite the weather, it really was a great weekend at Fonmon Castle and the teams were certainly keen on displaying some great skill and bravery on the tracks. Teams will now be preparing for the next round at Thame Showground for the Easter Thame Country Fair on the 20^th and 21^st April. We hope to see you there!